Don't get me wrong...I most definitely believe ALL moms are heroes! It is an act of heroism to carry a child, deal with all of the emotional and bodily changes that take place and give life to a little, fragile, human being. Then to make sacrifice, upon sacrifice, when caring for every need of that child. Whether you're married, single, stay at home, work from home, work outside the home or otherwise, being a mom is the hardest job you'll ever have and will bring the greatest rewards you could ever imagine.
It's the "Super Mom" mentality that sneakily undermines all that we work towards everyday. One thing motherhood has taught me about myself is that I'm quite the little control-freak! My children have brought out the best and the worst in me, from time to time. I am by nature a planner. But I have come to realize my limitations and that realization alone has brought me such peace.
There is no such person as "Super Mom". We cannot do EVERYTHING we'd like to do in a day and be ALL things to ALL people, as much as we'd like to. It's great to have goals to strive toward, but by constantly comparing ourselves to other moms (who SEEM to get everything done) we are doing ourselves a great disservice. Everyone has to make sacrifices and as my hubby often reminds me, not every day with our kids has to be a Norman Rockwell moment.
A few years ago, Chad and I took a second honeymoon to Italy for our 10th anniversary. We are both of Italian decent and it was a long-awaited and eagerly anticipated trip to the "mother land". While in Tuscany we stayed in Florence, which is a thriving city, yet unlike similar cities in the States, it had an overwhelmingly relaxed atmosphere. No one there is in a hurry to do anything. They have figured out how to be very productive, while maintaining the freedom not to be pressured to DO more than they need to. It was a real eye-opener to me and a desire grew in me to translate those simple principles into our life here.
Being home all day it is very tempting for me to be in constant motion and keep everything spic and span. But do I really want my kids to remember me as this person flitting from room to room keeping house but not really being present? There will come a day, all too soon, when the halls of this house will be void of children screeching to one another. Where the walls will no longer be smeared with little fingerprints or toothpaste (famous in our house). When chubby little arms will no longer wrap around my waist while trying to cook and wet cherubs lips will no longer be planted daily on my cheeks.
My oldest is nine and those nine years have gone by in a blink and I'm sure the next nine will follow suit until my little man is a young man on his own. It makes me all the more thankful for this time to homeschool, although it is expensive and not without the many sacrifices that living on one income presents, it is MORE than worth it. At the end of our time on earth I don't think we'll wish we had more time to work, but more time to spend time enjoying those we love and doing things that are truly meaningful to us.
I can only speak from my own life experience and being a pastor's wife, I feel I sometimes hold myself to a higher standard than I would expect of others. And, in the past, I imagined that others must be holding me to that standard as well. As women, we often put pressure on ourselves to live up to some ideal which DOESN'T exist. We need to let go of any guilt and know that we cannot BE anyone else. We can only BE ourselves and do those things that WE are gifted to do. Being a wife and mom IS a calling and I just want to spend my days soaking in my kids, taking care of myself, my family and as many others as I can. Sleep well tonight moms...and pull the plug on "super mom"...she's just a figment of our imaginations ;)
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